riding my bike on the beach
before dawn of 12/30/2018

something big is what you're living for
but that something big is not outside you

it's what's not inside you
what's not inside you is outside you
but what's outside you isn't always there.

the sky is turning from a light on your bike piercing darkness
to a blue overwhelming everything

where you're at could be underneath the water
not too far away in the not too distant future
the soon maybe not too far but maybe too soon

laying in the sand as the sky turns from black
highlighted in sand with white artificial light

to gray sand in gray light, blue and orange aura
something beyond you, everything's beyond you

why do you even try?
a sum of many is the measure of a moment
just another grain among that many

something big is what you're living for
but that something big is not outside you

it's what's not inside you
what's not inside you is outside you
but what's outside isn't always there.